Routine Boredom

Routine Boredom

I currently have a lot of time on my hands and sometimes I don’t even know how to deal with it. I go through cabin fever sometimes and I have to keep myself busy but there’s really only so much I can do sometimes.

I play with my son.
I feed him.
I crochet.
I watch tv.
I play with my son some more.
I feed him again.
I put him to a nap when he gets tired.
I browse the internet for crochet inspirations or other hobby inspirations.
And it goes on and on, the same cycle every single day.

I’ve watched more tv and Netflix than I would like to admit and I am gaining quite a bit of weight since all I do otherwise is eat. And I hate it. I’m already overweight enough as it is, I don’t need to add more to it.

I have been doing a lot of crocheting and drawing inspirations for patterns and projects I can do since I want to eventually start my own etsy shop sometime. I started my own instagram account so far, WickedfulKnots at least.  That’s a start LOL.  I have been trying to do do a lot of research and I am ready to start crocheting away on different hats and scarfs.  I actually ordered some yarn from an online store that is actually based here in the lower mainland so shipping is pretty quick!  Now if only they would deliver the damn package to my door instead of the community mailbox.  Apparently, they left a notice card for me to pick it up at some post office.  Ugh.  I just wanted my yarn now LOL. I am pretty excited to start as I have a few ideas on how I want some designs to look.  I’m obviously going to start simple and I want to see how they actually turn out before I think about posting them up for sale.  I’m planning on maybe giving away a few just so I can get some feedback on them first too.  Too bad I didn’t do this around Christmas time, that would have been a perfect time to give crochet clothing LOL.  Oh well.

Anyways, that’s mostly been my days.  I mentioned that I’ve been trying to do some cleaning too.  I’m trying to clean and organize and purge.  We actually might be moving so if we do, this would be a good time to figure out what stuff we have we can keep, throw away or donate.  Purging feels great sometimes you know.  I feel lighter since there’s less clutter and less mess.  It’s weird how it affects me physically and mentally sometimes because of it.  Plus, if we do end up moving, well there’s less crap to move.  That’s a really good bonus.  Moving is hard already and having to load too much crap out and in is just a pain in the ass.  I’ve already had to go through a bunch of my son’s stuff and get rid of some old toys he doesn’t play with anymore.  I’ve put in boxes old clothes that doesn’t fit him and that he barely wore and I will give those to my sister-in-law since she has a little baby boy right now.  If I can get a head start in boxing and slowly clearing out the crap, then I’m happy because I know the feeling of having to rush packing things and it is NOT fun.

 

Upcoming Projects

Upcoming Projects

Baby Booties and Hat

So, since my last post touched on my hobbies, I decided on act upon it and start a couple of crochet projects.  As I mentioned last, I was making some cute baby stuff for my dear friend. Oooh! They are so freaking adorable!  I forgot how cute tiny little clothing is since my son is almost two now and he obviously doesn’t wear tiny little infant clothing anymore.  His clothes are still fairly small but no where as small as these little things I crocheted!  I have yet to make the little scratch mittens though.  Those are a bit more challenging for me (you wouldn’t think so since they’re small and require less rows) because I have to use a smaller needle and the little holes can be difficult and harder for me to keep track of how stitches I’ve already done but still, it’s a good learning process for me as it’s been a while since I’ve made little mini things.  I just hope that her little girl fits into them when she’s born.  And yes … I know they are not really a “girl” color but I plan on girly-ing it up a little by adding cute little bows where I see fit.  Plus my friend said that she doesn’t want things that are too girly anyway.  She’s always been that kind of person.  Plus, there’s always the chance that the prediction of the sex of the baby can be wrong.  It’s not impossible.  There are many many cases where parents are told the sex of the baby and it ends up being a surprise on birth day that it’s the opposite LOL.

I am also starting another crochet project which is very relatively EASY.  It’s just a simple scarf that I’m making.  I’m still contemplating to make it a full infinity scarf or if I should keep it as a open-ended scarf and just add buttons to close it up so it’s snug around the neck for the added warmth.  I guess I’ll decide once I finish it.

I am just planning on starting off on simple items (like this scarf) and work my way up to harder projects.

My scarf project

And by harder, I mean just more intricate stitches and designs as I have always done very basic stuff.  I want to eventually create my own patterns and designs that are more than just a simple scarf.  It would be nice to look back and say, “Wow … I made that?!”.   Whatever I make will be just for friends and family really until I feel like they are good quality enough to sell in the future.  The nice thing with Etsy is that you can post whatever you like and you’re not pressured to make mass amounts.  I would just rather make sell things that I have already made, whether it be only one thing or two, and to test the waters to see if they even sell.

Another possible project I was thinking of, in terms of this whole selling thing, is to maybe touch upon my love of drawing and graphics.  I was actually browsing through Etsy and found that some people sell digital designs for like invitations and even coloring book pages that they drew up themselves!  Also the benefit of these is that you don’t have to ship anything!  It’s purely just a digital file that the buyer will download on their end.  To me that’s pretty cool.  Easy, not so much pressure and you get to share your work with people.  I am always doodling and doing lineart type of drawings so this is a big consideration for me in the Etsy world.

Sigh.  So many things to consider.  For now, I will just focus on one thing at a time.  That’s one of my internal goals this year actually.  To just focus on one thing at a time and not get overwhelmed by so many different things going on in my head.  I want this year to be organized since the last year was just pure chaos.  I want to actually make lists of things I want to accomplish and I want to abide by that list.  Those items may not be accomplished in this particular year but it would just be nice to acknowledge these dreams of mine.  I guess it’s like a bucket list except these goals are actually more realistically attainable, if you will.

I’m tired of saying, “I’ve always wanted to do this” and never pursuing it.  Sometimes, yes, it’s a leap of faith and you just go ahead and do it.  But there’s a fine line sometimes between being impulsive and rash and taking that next step to pursuing something.  I don’t want to rush into things and have it crash and burn.  I want to do things right and actually have some dignity in pursing something that means something to me.  I’ve always done things so rash and never got anywhere with it.  This time around, I will plan and consider the right time to do things and even if it takes a while, at least I know I am following through the way I want it to and get it right.

Hobbies or more?

Hobbies or more?

In light of my best friend having a baby girl in a few months time, I had all the more reason to start crocheting again.  I honestly can’t even remember the last time I crocheted anything but once I heard “baby”, it was like a candid click of a camera and instantly started looking for patterns to make cute little booties, mitten and a hat!

It was like riding a bike, with falls along the way.  I had to keep referring to YouTube videos because I kept second guessing myself on how to do simplest little things.  Eventually, maybe after re-making 4 right booties, I got it right (well … not right … more like felt satisfied HAH).  I’ve finished the hat and now it’s the pain of making the mittens.  They’re so tiny and adorable but wow a pain in my ass right now.  It’s all worth it though of course.  I love my best friend to pieces and this is for her little girl so it’s worth it!

I’ve always like creating things but my problem is that I never really followed through in mastering anything.

I’m like a “Jane of All Trades, Master of None”. 

I could be this crazy Crochet lady where I could make sweaters, baby sets, scarves, hats … and potentially be good enough to sell them on Etsy or something but I just don’t have the patience or the motivation.  I have always wanted my own business of some sort but never know what it could be due to my many hobbies and it’s hard for me to pick one. My sister-in-law actually made a good point (because she’s even better than I am at crocheting and arts and crafts), that when she makes something, it’s for love and for someone in particular.  She doesn’t find the idea of making masses amounts just to sell them a justification of her craft.  She wants to have meaning when she makes something and not to just do it because she wants to sell it.  See … I get that.  I don’t know if that’s a hidden subconscious reasoning behind why I don’t do it but it’s a great point that I never thought about before.

It’s not just crocheting though.  Even with my photography, my graphic skills (I used to make invitations and cards for friends and family like weddings and birthdays), my drawings, cooking and baking … I have so much potential in all these areas but I have just merely kept them as “hobbies” and never moved forward with them.

Time is a factor too I guess.  If you were to pursue something seriously, you would need to really dedicate your time.  Every minute of it.

I don’t have that.

Now thinking about it, I think that’s the major factor in my lack of ambition.  I think this is my epiphany. My time lies with my family, especially my son.  It’s hard for me to sacrifice time towards something else, probably because he’s still so young and I don’t want to miss any important things at this stage in his life where he’s learning how to talk and learning how to be aware and absorb his environment.  It’s one of those things where you have to put your ambitions aside until you know there’s time to spare to dedicate yourself to your craft.

So I think for now, I am obviously not going to stop my hobbies but nor am I pursuing any major ambitions.  I am going to take this time to hone in on my skills and hopefully somewhat perfect them. That way, by the time I can get some time to follow through with my ambitions, I can do it with confidence.

YEAR ONE (Chronicles of the One #1) Book Review

YEAR ONE (Chronicles of the One #1) Book Review

Title: Year One (Chronicles of the One #1)
Author: Nora Roberts
Published: Dec 5, 2017
# of Pages: 419
Rating: 4 stars

Blurb (From Goodreads):

It began on New Year’s Eve.

The sickness came on suddenly, and spread quickly. The fear spread even faster. Within weeks, everything people counted on began to fail them. The electrical grid sputtered; law and government collapsed—and more than half of the world’s population was decimated.

Where there had been order, there was now chaos. And as the power of science and technology receded, magic rose up in its place. Some of it is good, like the witchcraft worked by Lana Bingham, practicing in the loft apartment she shares with her lover, Max. Some of it is unimaginably evil, and it can lurk anywhere, around a corner, in fetid tunnels beneath the river—or in the ones you know and love the most.

As word spreads that neither the immune nor the gifted are safe from the authorities who patrol the ravaged streets, and with nothing left to count on but each other, Lana and Max make their way out of a wrecked New York City. At the same time, other travelers are heading west too, into a new frontier. Chuck, a tech genius trying to hack his way through a world gone offline. Arlys, a journalist who has lost her audience but uses pen and paper to record the truth. Fred, her young colleague, possessed of burgeoning abilities and an optimism that seems out of place in this bleak landscape. And Rachel and Jonah, a resourceful doctor and a paramedic who fend off despair with their determination to keep a young mother and three infants in their care alive.

In a world of survivors where every stranger encountered could be either a savage or a savior, none of them knows exactly where they are heading, or why. But a purpose awaits them that will shape their lives and the lives of all those who remain.

The end has come. The beginning comes next.


MY REVIEW

I really did not know what to expect when I came across this book. I barely ever read any apocalyptic books and I was weary to read it because I didn’t know if I wanted to really read the same old plot of – big major global tragedy, some die, some live, struggle, struggle, struggle.  I mean this book is really no different in that aspect but when I started reading the description and it said that it involved some magic and mythical creatures and prophecies … hmm … it could be interesting.  I was worried that with the whole magic element, it would make things a little cheesy and too much “fantasy”, if you will but NO!  The author did a great job of incorporating it in and did not feel at all like too much “Lord of the Rings”.

It even brought a great element of added conflict, “Uncanny”(magical folk) versus Humans. This was a nice twist than to the usual human on human violence and struggle.  It was a nice added reflection of the real world today where bigotry and intolerance exists, creating relation to the characters and to that specific world.  It shows, no matter how the much things are in shambles, there are always assholes out there.

There are a lot of characters in this book and I like how the author brought them and stories all together.  You get to see how they view the new world in each pair of eyes and how they all adapt to it.  I grew affection for each character and found myself excited (or hurt) when something happens (of course I am not going to give any spoilers).

At parts, it seemed slow but I guess it’s because this is the first installment.  The author really wants the reader to know the origin of all the tragedy and set up the characters and storylines.  This is really the only reason I gave it 4 stars, not 5.  So having said that, I don’t know if this is really a fair rating on my part because I just expected it to be racing and exciting all the way through but I understand that there has to be some build up.

I did not know how this book was going to end but when it did I did not know how to feel about it.  It was mixed feelings because 1) a part of me didn’t want the book to end since I wanted to know more about how things would further progress and 2) it just left things hanging and it made me wanting more but I guess it’s a way to have some anticipation and continuation for the next book.

Overall, I really liked the story and premise of this book.  It was hard to stop reading and I just kept wanting to power through because the story and characters really pulled me in. I didn’t want to blink!  I am excited for the next book and  I believe the next installment will be coming December of 2018.

How to Deal

How to Deal

So … I did it. I got myself a domain for the blog and hosting. I had been thinking about it for quite a while and I kept battling with myself on whether to do it or not. Finally, I just decided to just go for it and see how much I keep up in a year. To be honest, if the deal price of the domain and hosting wasn’t so cheap, I probably wouldn’t have done it. So I’m pretty happy. It’s nice to have Unscripted Design stand on it’s own in some way. It’s like having a child LOL.

So many things are going right now in the background. It exhausts me mentally and physically. Let’s just say that stress is relentless. Once you sigh a breath of relief after one thing off your list, three more pop up on that list and now you can’t breathe. At least for me, it feels that way. Basically, it sucks “adulting” as my co-worker likes to say.

How do I manage? How do I get through a day despite all the mental jackhammering? I don’t really know. I just get through it somehow.

I read.
I draw.
I watch A LOT of movies (honestly … Thank goodness for Netflix)
Sometimes all it takes is one good ugly sob cry.
A cup of coffee and curling up in my favourite blanket.
Some mars bars and hershey’s cookies and cream chocolate bars.
A nice bear hug from my husband as he tries to make me laugh. He’ll make me watch him play video games sometimes just because he likes the attention from me. And because he’s always doing hilarious stuff and he likes me to witness them. HAHA.
The best thing … A nice long cuddle with my baby boy as he gives me kisses on the cheek and keeps his arm around me. That usually works too.

I guess I just try to keep myself busy. By no means does this solve anything that’s going on but it’s at least a way to numb myself down a bit temporarily. A reset. Recharge before you start another day and hope things gets better tomorrow. Because there is always tomorrow. Life is shit sometimes but as long as you have something to keep your focus and drive, that’s all that matters. I have my family to live for everyday. That’s what keeps me going.

On a side note, I should start exercising again. That would be a great way to keep myself busy and to relieve stress. Hmm … something to think about.

How do you guys relieve stress?